Doom Patrol
From Milton Keynes RPG Club
Contents |
Snapshots & Dubious Stains
I strongly doubt any play report could ever truly encompass a Doom Patrol-based game using the Don't Rest Your Head system, so instead I offer a selection of notable quotes, memorable images and tantalising hints to whet the reader's appetite. These are, more or less, representative of each episode.
Issue 0: Continutity
"They are stuck up to the elbow in each other's flaps."
A gang of pimp-styled monkeys on very tall stilts stalk the heroes through an endless scrapyard of Deloreans, Edsels & Tuckers.
RR12, 1:15
A doctor carrying a single jigsaw piece, with his face obscured by a dinner-plate sized speculum, is turned into an old sepia photgraph of a stethoscope by a man in Victorian dining clothes with a squeezebox-style camera where his head should be.
"THERE IS NO M-WORD!!!"
Issue 1: The Wrongness in the Right
Introducing...
James Hollywood as Philip Huxtable De'ath, AKA 'PHD'
- He has many distinct personalities, each of whom is a known fictional doctor, e.g. Dr. Kildare, Dr. Lecter, Dr. Moreau, etc.
Ben Fortune as Samantha Carter
- All mathematical calculations in her vicinity operate according to a different set of basic operations and constants, therefore the laws of physics are hers to manipulate.
- 2+2=3
Scott Dorward as Eddie Stone, AKA 'The Nagging Doubt'
- A motivational speaker brought low by a glimpse into the meaningless heart of existence, now he can bring the element of doubt into anything.
- Currently feeling the heat from his last motivational talk, after which every member of the audience committed suicide.
Alex Vincent as Eden
- A traumatized teenage street person, something has triggered in her the power to craft & shape her own flesh at will.
Also featuring...
- Danny the Street, Doom Patrol's HQ
- Lex O'Cographer, caretaker and general dogsbody
The team form when EdEn is chased onto Danny the Street by an armed flashmob of right wing protesters, after PHD has shared his vision of a new Doom Patrol for the 21st century with his two 'volunteers'.
Eden enjoys a pint of pink Guinness and gets introduced to the Molotov Cocktail.
Sam's attempt at repealing the law of gravity is far too successful, but Eddie persuades Danny (yes, he persuades the street) that gravity is over-rated. Danny becomes the world's first UFT (Unidentified Flying Thoroughfare)
"Oooooh! Aaaaah! Wow!" (Appreciative crowd noises made by onlookers unaware that the fabulous meteorite display is the remains of the flashmob re-entering the atmosphere)
Headlines of tomorrow's Sydney Herald: Adelaide Destroyed!, Terrorist Cell 'Doom Patrol' Killed in Own Plot
Samantha is starting to feel a little unhinged.
Meanwhile, Mr Nobody and the New New New Brotherhood of Dada put in a brief cameo appearance, possibly because they feel Doom Patrol is competing with them to be the villains of this series!
Issue 2: Urban Renewal
Never trust sweet little old ladies, a lesson learned too late by a 6 secret agents and a classroom full of primary school children.
A good test to see if you have slipped into an alternate universe: nip into McDonald's and see if the food is edible.
"I need to punch a symphony!"
Danny the Street flees Earth's carnivourous cities.
"So we've broken a compact with the Hedgehog Foundation?"
All your cow are belong to us.
The Nagging Doubt buys Danny the Street flowers and wine by way of an apology.
These words were spoken by Scott Dorward: "So everything returns to normal"
"Now I get to keep the cows!!"
"The brownies want their cows back!!"
Who'd have thought that a handbag could hold so much in it? I wonder if its vacuum-proof?
Issue 3: "Woe, be gone!"
Featuring...
- Albrecht Wolfe, the Unchained Man, freed after 75 years trapped in the Hospital.
PHD starts merging all the Doctors who reside in the Hospital, resulting in the creation of Dr. Hannibal Scully...
Today on Perry Stringer: Women in Love with Phenomenological Anomalies.
Cornelius Fledermaus: apparently, its a pseudonym. Or not.
Dr. Zoidberg dances the mambo with terrorists... er, real ones that is, not Doom Patrol again.
"Is Al still visible?"; "Don't be silly"
The team come together and heroically put an end to world peace!
"Where are we going to find a pint of milk at this time?"
Doom Patrol face off against Mr. Nobody and the New New Brotherhood of Dada; Bliss and the Alarm fall quickly, Checkmate checks out quietly, the Part is AWOl and Mr. Nobody disappears over the horizon.
When denying the objective validity of surreal sub-dimensions, always remember to leave yourself an exit.
During a battle with the Acme Company's CEO (not yet in the form of the Tasmanian Devil), Samantha becomes the first member of Doom Patrol to crash! Lets hear a big round for Samantha!
Issue 4: Googleomancy
Using the above method of 21st century divination, Samantha discovers a new meaning for the phrase 'boom town', in that Adelaide is doomed to destruction in almost every conceivable parallel universe.
'Cold calling' also gets a new spin when frost forms on the receiver as the Nagging Doubt speaks to the Pentagon.
Project: Green Voodoo and Project: Hothouse
When Eden gets rewound to the age of 3, she becomes a small girl, to everyone's evident relief.
By a strange set of circumstances, the perfect moment for the song "Two Little Boys" by Rolf Harris is finally arrived at!
Adelaide gets fingered and a brief tribute to M. Night Shyamalan goes unnoticed.
"Fuck soya milk, we're going to the Pentagon!"
To add insult to injury, Adelaide gets wiped from the face of the Earth by one ordinary grenade.
"Can I get Adelaide wrapped to go?" (The reply was muffled by a lot of brown paper)
"Please don't eat the embodiments of nature"
